::disclaimer::
writing this with 6 hours of sleep in the last two days - not all at the same time


I've been meaning to sit down and muddle through and pour out my thoughts on my time this past summer on sl. You see that during the summer I tend to be on quite a bit - well let me rephrase that - This particular summer I spent too much time in secondlife -lol- I had no job - no responsibilities - and lots of free time - I said no job so thus no money.....


I started out thinking/wondering if I could really make secondlife my summer job. I don't build.....I thought maybe if I had enough dj gigs how much linden could I really make. Well of course there was also the fact that I bought a house - then had to furnish it -lol- put some things out in the yard - etc etc etc - buy new clothes .....However; I did transfer a total of 30,000 linden to my paypal account - finally figured out how to do that properly ......(Mental side note: makes sure to show a certain someone my appreciation for that .....again - grinz )


So you might be thinking that my time on sl was beneficial and I will agree that roughly $100 out of a game in which I only put in $5 is a pretty good return. (Didn't realize that LL wouldn't let me sell lindens until I had bought some - otherwise I wouldn't have ever bought anything)

Did I get anything else besides the monetary return???? That is highly debatable.......

I didn't really learn anything I hadn't known before ...........working in clubs on sl is all about popularity and nothing really do about skill - So I not only was a dj - I even was a host - and was a dancer (for those of you that are not familiar with sl thats a stripper lol)

I've been told I am good dj - (I have a hard time accepting that when no one shows up to my gigs from my friends list and its a hit or miss how many show up to my gigs from the clubs vip groups.) Been told I have a good dj voice - I would agree with that. I haven't found my groove though. Seems many dj's have a "nitch" something to make them stand out - unique quality - this is no big surprise to me that I haven't found that because it is very much how I am in reality as well. I hate being boxed in to a idea or label or nitch so to speak - I take ideas from other dj's I admire/look up to and incorporate that into my sets. I'm always trying new things - new music - new gimmicks .....so yah I suppose I'm just me......

Ok so for some brutal honesty party - My biggest pet peeve and I have yet to "play the game" because I can't seem to get past this.....every single club I've worked at in sl it is all about the "in" crowd at that particular club - Who do the managers like??? What staff members like you or dislike you.....and the social group that controls the club - anyone who wants to disagree with me feel free but it doesn't change the truth - I've heard really bad dj's - i have to turn down the volume when they speak because I can't stand their voice - to playing the same songs over and over and over again (I guess some people like that) ....then there is the lack of professionalism - doesn't show up for their gig - shows up late - leaves or doesn't promote club or staff - events.......and yet these people get the prime shifts because they are "friends" with either the Managers or Owners.....and yes I know this happens in rl in jobs all the time....but its one of my biggest pet peeves because I take it as a job and I'm professional and people don't seem to value that......

Anyways......on to other things I learned.......

Damn well guess there isn't much else -lol- Same social shit different venues - its like a freaking merry go round and yet i get on the damn thing again and again ..............still looking for the wow factor .....the connections .....something to fill the holes ......and i'm going to leave this post with some lyrics from one of my favorite songs by Jewel - "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland" ....this is not the complete song but I've pulled lines out that just always resonate with me

"...We grow fat on fantasy - I guess that's why I'm leaving -I crave reality -So goodbye Alice in Wonderland-Goodbye yellow brick road-There is a difference between dreaming and pretending-I did not find paradise -It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting-What's been missing in my life........


....Yes a heart can hallucinate -If it's completely starved for love-It can even turn monsters into Angels from above...


...Growing up is not an absence of dreaming -It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold - And the ones that you've been sold- And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life
But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie -Forgetting what you are -Seeing for what you've been told...