You might remember an earlier post of mine under friendships online where I vented about how I didn't understand the entire concept of "claiming" your friends via picks in secondlife or in chatro the dreaded extra tags.......

Well I finally succumbed ....why you ask?? Good question ....i started thinking about it regarding the people who I have grown closer to - those people I trust with my more than just superficial chit chat - it then became its own thing where as new people came into my sl world I had to add - to the point now I'm thinking I have to delete to make room - wtf??? How did this happen??? Where I had one person in my picks - became my closest friends - now I'm going I want to add so and so but my picks are full - sighs - I've become my own worst nightmare???

So now I'm thinking who should be in my picks?? Reevaluating the reason they are in my picks......Some are there because I want them to know how much they mean to me - and then I think fuck are you serious?? Really?? If they don't know I need to tell them more often. Do I really have close friends that don't know they are important to my sl world - and to some that special connection has transferred beyond the game???

What does that look like btw??? Do I think of them random times in my rl?? Would I meet them in rl??? If I lost internet connection would I miss them?? would they miss me???

My guarded exterior rears its ugly head as I question my relations with people in secondlife. Where does it cross the line?? What is the line?? Is it healthy to put more meaning into my relationships online then in reality??

All questions I ask myself all the time and sometimes I have answers but more than likely I don't. For whatever reasons many of us who build relationships online in different realms be it secondlife - chatrooms - forums - roleplay games - etc etc etc ....are not as good at it in reality or choose not to for many different reasons.

This leads me to another topic......many of you reading this might know that in sl I've taken on a new adventure. I am now part owner of Full Throttle Sports Club & Venue. This happened rather suddenly in a few days span and has taken on a whole new grip on me. Other areas I'm spinning off - learning to create clothing - learning to build and create ........now i'm in this game for more reasons than just social and I find myself in new territory regarding time commitment and escapism. I expanding my wings in ways I don't in rl and wondering if it will have a positive effect on me or negative.........maybe a bit of both.

I feel like I'm caught up in a dream - just like Inception ....I'm seduced by the outlet of creating this other world in which anything is possible if I just learn the skills and tap into the unknown........