Yes, this blog died for two years......

The reasons are too numerous to discuss and prolly not of any interest. My online chat life has seen some changes in those two years though and honestly I think I've really grown as a person because of it. I hope so anyways because if not what the fuck was the point of it all anyways??!! -lol-



Have a new DJ venture and would luv to get more people out listening!!

Saturdays 9pm-Midnight pst
http://phoenix-radio.com/phoenix/index.php  This gig I will be doing some talk radio segments called Brutal Truth (Can you handle the Truth??) Sort of a Dear Abby DJ Maia style - Perhaps a Dr Phil sort for chat communities???  I might be using this blog more for ideas on this or for people to comment!!



As for my relationship status - still single rt - still focusing on career and family - however always open if I should meet someone amazing - this would mean prolly putting myself out there more in rt - I know this hopefully soon I will feel more comfortable doing that.

Online relationships, including the lifestyle, come and go but I have learned and grown as a person from all of them. I am currently in an amazing situation, for me anyways, and pushing boundaries and growing in my understanding of myself like I never thought I would. I just want to thank Mr. Fuck for seeing something in me to pursue. I adore you Daddy.

Many know and have read in an earlier post my views on cyber sex or online erotic encounters if you want to have a nice spin on it - grinz - I find myself in this new relationship where not only are we saving them (have done this before) but now sharing them with others. It seemed like a good idea to do it a central way where anyone could read them that so chose to.

I might be posting other peoples encounters as well if they want to and some names will be changed and others not but permission will always be something that I won't waiver away from.

Erotic Expressions is now open - enjoy reading...

Ok so people know not to challenge me or dare me because I'll do it - smirkles -

So a certian someone who thinks he is a smart ass said he loved how i would describe how wet i was when he asked - well there are different degrees - no?

Levels of wetness by maia  -lol-
dry = yah you haven't done squat to turn me on
slightly damp = ok so there is potential for being turned on if you just put in effort
normal wet = yes i'm turned on but you didn't do anything really this was caused by other stimulation
wet = i'm turned on
really wet = i'm very turned on and you are the cause of it and you better finish what you started
sloppy wet = i'm not only wet but i'm fucking myself because i need the orgasm soon


maybe others need to be added later....

So much has happened since the last time I posted in both my online and rt. Brief overview: in rt i've moved - no job still looking.....

Now you might remember that I had posted that I had fallen in love - I thought I had. The relationship was online we met this summer - I didn't feel there was a future and it was all me, so I broke it off....

Then I've become what I was years ago - not something I'm proud of and more of that to come soon perhaps.....

You would think after fourteen years chatting I would learn to see the signs or get suckered into something only to find myself screwed again. (I only wish it was the good kind of screwing)

So I don't usually share specifics of things happening in sl or rl especially the specifics when dealing with others. Why do you say?? Simplest honest answer is that I'm not into drama period. I'm not about making things public that don't need to be. However, that said I do feel that venting is healing. So please remember that when further reading. My blog isn't read by many so trying to find some sinister motivation for divulging details really isn't necessary.

So my adventure trying to run a club with others turned out to be a bust. After taking on the responsibility of Full Throttle when it was going to be closed, creating something slightly different, and putting a lot of my time, energy, creativity, and yes a lot of myself into the venture it all got pulled out from under me.

A few days before May tier was due, one of the other owners sent me an im saying they wanted FT to close. Now a lot of reasons were stated, low numbers, staff and members not having as much fun, rl commitments of owners taking over, and not having the linden to put into the tier. My first reaction is ok if the other owners didn't want to be a part of it then I'll downsize the land and keep it going without them. Oh but no that was not something they wanted me to do. They wanted FT to close period, or rather just close for the summer. I didn't understand nor thought this was a good idea. Then of course when someone doesn't get their way the arguments get more personal and rather negative. I was threatened with the staff will all leave - My personality is hard to work with apparently and I'm "abrasive."

This set me off like I couldn't believe. This was told me by someone I called a friend. The person who I helped out to keep FT going when their personal shit hit the fan. I couldn't fought this since technically I was/am still owner of the groups - All the club stuff was in my name......did I?? No. Why? I'm not a drama queen. I'm not the type of person to get personal in a business argument. It really wouldn't be in my best interest to do so. So I let it go.

I am hurt by the way things were handled and I felt blindsided. Everyone who knows me, knows I value honest - blunt - no bs communication. If you felt things were not going well you talk to me. You want out so be it but just let me know. A friendship was seriously damaged in this process. I don't let many people in and when I do, I'm very loyal and will do just about anything and I thought I did. So to have that person throw it in my face like it didn't matter the effort and time I put in, like it was nothing. I don't put up with that sort of thing.

So another friendship online is done.........another venture in sl is done.....

I am still designing clothes for [RDG Street] so go check it out.

out of this a new opportunity was given to me - to manage Time Out Sports Bar.......I've learned my lesson and this will be differently, unfortunately I'm still jaded and closed off.

You might remember an earlier post of mine under friendships online where I vented about how I didn't understand the entire concept of "claiming" your friends via picks in secondlife or in chatro the dreaded extra tags.......

Well I finally succumbed ....why you ask?? Good question ....i started thinking about it regarding the people who I have grown closer to - those people I trust with my more than just superficial chit chat - it then became its own thing where as new people came into my sl world I had to add - to the point now I'm thinking I have to delete to make room - wtf??? How did this happen??? Where I had one person in my picks - became my closest friends - now I'm going I want to add so and so but my picks are full - sighs - I've become my own worst nightmare???

So now I'm thinking who should be in my picks?? Reevaluating the reason they are in my picks......Some are there because I want them to know how much they mean to me - and then I think fuck are you serious?? Really?? If they don't know I need to tell them more often. Do I really have close friends that don't know they are important to my sl world - and to some that special connection has transferred beyond the game???

What does that look like btw??? Do I think of them random times in my rl?? Would I meet them in rl??? If I lost internet connection would I miss them?? would they miss me???

My guarded exterior rears its ugly head as I question my relations with people in secondlife. Where does it cross the line?? What is the line?? Is it healthy to put more meaning into my relationships online then in reality??

All questions I ask myself all the time and sometimes I have answers but more than likely I don't. For whatever reasons many of us who build relationships online in different realms be it secondlife - chatrooms - forums - roleplay games - etc etc etc ....are not as good at it in reality or choose not to for many different reasons.

This leads me to another topic......many of you reading this might know that in sl I've taken on a new adventure. I am now part owner of Full Throttle Sports Club & Venue. This happened rather suddenly in a few days span and has taken on a whole new grip on me. Other areas I'm spinning off - learning to create clothing - learning to build and create ........now i'm in this game for more reasons than just social and I find myself in new territory regarding time commitment and escapism. I expanding my wings in ways I don't in rl and wondering if it will have a positive effect on me or negative.........maybe a bit of both.

I feel like I'm caught up in a dream - just like Inception ....I'm seduced by the outlet of creating this other world in which anything is possible if I just learn the skills and tap into the unknown........

I've been pretty jaded regarding online relationships - actually if you have read some of my other posts you might think that I don't believe in them - and for the most part I don't - we are not simple creatures - relationships in this online world effect our reality because they play havoc with our inner selves - now I'm not going to go into the entire why's and how's because I have already touched based on some of it .....Yes... I'm rambling because I have a lot to say as things have shifted in my current situation - situation - wow i am stumbling here...- chuckles -