I'm in a new relationship online that is shifting to reality - it is real - yet still have one more stumbling block to get over and thats the distance - so I suppose right now its a long distance relationship where we have yet to meet - normally I keep my guard up - I'm cautious to a fault - I don't believe unless I can see it - touch it - faith is a hard concept for me to fall back on - and yet I have it - just don't always trust it. Trust is a very difficult thing for me - always has been - I could fall back on the entire childhood clause, but I try not to because I believe strongly that our childhood should not be an excuse for current behavior. I'm also very self reflective. 

So I find myself now realigning my thought process - hope that was banked to barely heated coals has now been flooded with gasoline, yet the match has not ignited quite yet. Not from the lack of effort on his part but from the constant harsh wind of my own fears and doubts.....

My heart yearns for my brain to let it go - the bonds still hold it in tight but new links in the chain are breaking - growing weak .....

more to come......that I do not doubt....