So many different ideas have been flittering through my brain regarding what I wanted to post here. Topics, specific opinions, etc etc etc........I tend to be like that easily distracted, with lots of ideas and then rarely do those ideas ever reach fruition because that takes actual work and being organized - those two words are very evil in my book -lol-

I figured I would begin with the reasons why people chat online or find themselves logging into second life. To be honest as the theme of this blog states: 99% of people have something fucked up in their realities. Bottom line. Because if you were living a full and healthy life then why would you come online and spend hours chatting and having this alternate life in SL? You wouldn't.

I know you are thinking that includes me. Of course it does. I will be the first one to tell you the reasons why I come online and its because of my insecurities with rt. Though I will say through the years some reasons have shifted but at the core of it is my inability to deal with the things wrong in my life and myself. It is so much easier to log in and pretend I have this amazing life then face the realities of my shortcomings.

I suppose this blog is also a way for me to deal with some of these things, however I have found naming them and realizing the why's doesn't make me change it. (Back to the work and organize words I so dislike). I am lazy and a procrastinator. Why fix something now when it can be done tomorrow?

If you would meet me in rt you would know that I am a very outgoing, friendly, and witty person who is fun to hang out with, and yet I find myself spending time at home online chatting.  I should be out living - doing - experiencing. What draws me to chat rooms and second life?

My answer is simple: it is easier to meet people in chatrooms than rt. It is easier to login to second life and do than walk out of my house and do. I realize most of you reading this will understand that in some degree however if you are not into chatting or sl you won't get it.

I prolly could go on with this but when my fingers stop and I start having to think about what I'm going to say is when I will stop.

Ok so I had been thinking of a place to post some of my opinions regarding chat communities and figured why not start a blog.

Here is a brief background of my online chatting experience so you know I'm not new to this.

I started chatting around 97-98ish. Don't make remember exactly my brain doesn't function like that. -smart ass grinz- I was 21 years old and actually stumbled into a chat room using my work's computer. I was hooked right away. I could be anyone I wanted. I could shed my insecurities and let my inner personality fly, and oh boy did she ever. I actually flourished from chatting. It gave me confidence in all areas of my life. It also turned into another way to escape from the realities I didn't want to deal with. Ok, I am not going to get started on all that but as you will read my opinions on chat communities varies and I think after thirteen years (off and on) I've seen and experienced a lot.

That first chatroom was very similar to the yahoo chatrooms - I don't even remember the name of it now. I moved on to a realm called FantasyCastle and made that my new online home. Now here was a place I could use my imagination and become something completely different. I could be anything and anyone I wanted in a fantasy type of role play. It was like being in a book (my other favorite way to escape is to read) but with interaction of other writers. I could connect with people in my fantasy they could interact take part build new fantasies. See how easy it was to get completely wrapped up in this alternate world. I was meeting people from around the world and learning. It was a time of sexual awakening for me as well. To say I was a late bloomer was putting it mildly but here was a place I could safely explore my sexuality, and explore did I ever. -lil impish grinz- Trying things online gave me confidence to be more active in reality as well. During those early years I think people would say I was much more adventurous, however; I also got completely sucked into the online world and let things in reality slip. Used to argue with my roomates regarding taking the phone line to be online to loosing a job over my online time as well. There were definitely some positive and negative outcomes to my chatting.

From FantasyCastle I moved on to The Park where I chatted mostly in a BDSM room called the Hidden Chamber. Now in the early days that room was filled with people who actually had experience in the lifestyle in rt. They didn't take any bullshit from wannabe's. I learned a lot by just being there and not talking much. Shit, I was scared to say a word. Yes, anyone who knows me I know is finding that hard to believe, but I was. The nickname I used of fairmaiden seemed to fit me during that time. There were times when I wasn't online for awhile - no computer of my own - only using the library access.

I did actually meet a few people from chatting. Met a good friend who ended up being my roommate for little awhile and a few dates here and there.

When the Park closed seemed many of the chatters were moving to other venues and the groups split up a bit. Some went to the Pork and I ended up at a small little place called Ties That Bind. This was run by a couple and I enjoyed the small group atmosphere and this is where I really blossomed out in my personality and actually where things started to change regarding my views on online communities. This is where I ended up changing my nickname to maia and thus have been ever since.

Many things happened at TTB that changed me as a person and my opinions and I'm sure there will be times where I go into some of the stories. I'll try not to use names. - grinz - I said try, geez. TTB ended up closing which wasn't a big surprise at the time and I moved to chatropolis. I went from a small little community to a much bigger pond. If anyone has ever been to Chatro they know what I'm talking about its a smorgasbord of adult sex chat that ranges from crude attempts at cyber to gateways to performing on cam. -chuckles- Then there are people who just want a place to interact with others for multiple of reasons. I found some rooms that I enjoyed hanging out in where I could be my witty smart ass impish self. At this point in my online chatting life I had ditched all pretenses of being anything but myself. I think much had to do with growing up, and the trying to be something I wasn't just didn't appeal to me anymore.

Then it seemed the new chatting fad was this place called Second Life. Not only could you interact with others in just words and pictures in a 2D room but here was a 3D world that attempts to create more realistic feel. Wait stop a second. Don't we want to escape reality when we chat? - grinz - Why not do it in a way that pulls you in even more. The first time I downloaded second life and attempted to try it I was confused and it was overwhelming to say the least. I hate things to be difficult and if it is I just don't do them. (Yes there will more about that later in my postings I'm sure - laughs-)

A friend of mine who btw was pursuing me very heavily at the time in chatro and msn talked me into trying second life again. This time he would spend the lindens and time to create my avatar, (I chose my first name and he chose my last with a little input from me), bought me clothes, shape, skin, hair, AO. So when I first logged in I was ready to go and did not look like a noob though I did act like it only a few times -lol- I am a quick learner so didn't take me long to get use to things.

I'm closing in on being on second life a full year. Which brings the history lesson to present and thus this blog has began....